I Wish for Fatherhood

Hand of Dad

More often than not, I find myself wishing for fatherhood. In asking the question, Ben offered up birthday cakes, shooting starts, or lucky pennies. When confronted with these totems of wishing and even in their absence, my wish is consistently the same.

When I was little, pre-literate; I was sitting outside my mom’s office while she finished the last meeting of her day. Everyone else had gone home for the night, so when she and her colleague exited the office, the only person they saw was me sitting with a telephone book open to the yellow pages.

“What are you doing, Zachary?” she asked.

As the story has been shared over the years, I looked up and explained I was searching for an adoption agency that delivered. I was certain, I told my mom, that if I could get a younger sibling delivered in under 30 minutes, she’d be incapable of sending it back.

This same drive fuels my wishing to be a dad. I realize I know none of the stress, sleep deprivation, and millions of other ways my life would be altered were I to suddenly find myself a single dad. And, as much as that should probably keep me from wishing for it, it’ll be what I quietly whisper to myself when confronted with the next birthday cake, shooting star, lucky penny, or stray moment.

This post is part of a daily conversation between Ben Wilkoff and me. Each day Ben and I post a question to each other and then respond to one another. You can follow the questions and respond via Twitter at #LifeWideLearning16.

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